Bruised or broken.. Idk

Why should any girl leave their house after marriage? In that case, even the boy should leave his house.. After all, she is also the same human being with same bondings right.. To be honest, the bond between her and her parents are rather stronger than any boy.. 

How could someone be like friends after marriage with whom they love? I really want to get this out of my brain or I might end up with some kinda stroke..

Marriage – In childhood and until falling in love.. It is really happiness, celebration and loads of fun but that was from the visitor part, the real untold story resides with the couple marrying and the one who can see “their” future..

C’mon once you are going to marry, you no longer can be a girl or son to your parent.. 

Once you get married for sexual attraction, age matter or should settle down for parents sake or someone else’s, you end up with a baby calling you papa or mama in no time since “that time” will not be in your hands – oldies and everyone around bugs with asking the same stupid question like they are going to carry and look after..

Once you get married.. uff how could someone marry.. It’s​ like just yesterday we left the college, finished daily routines in home and tuition, played on sunday.. Feeling that we got old, our parents getting older and even closer to death.. Yuckkk!! These thoughts are sucking me so badly, I’m losing my senses and sleep..

Losing love – These days it has become common to hear my relationship is complicated from a girl/boy(mostly) due to the incorrect ratio of population but the pain isn’t varying.. I really don’t know that everyone feels the same pain or everyone feels like that they had only those special deep feelings over the deep intense relationship they had.. I mean,

It’s too hard me to stare at the door where she used to shine like a star now and then, toughest to believe that she’s no longer going to appear in that room, much more harder to believe that she won’t stand by that gate and watching kids play or even stronger that I can’t hear her humming.. I can’t take it anymore to live without her.. She is my first thought, oops she is the only thought I’ve consistently in my daily routine.

Really obsessed.. I can’t give up.. Can’t imagine she going with someone else.. The thought of someone touching her, fulfilling her wishes, taking her away killing me, the point of rejection and admitting is still a nightmare..

Right from the beginning of the day, if she’s here she could have played that morning raaga, she likes that mantra when mom doing pooja, in breakfast – she prepares that dish so well, while dressing up she’s the best selector, perfectionist for me.. While going to job, “hey that dress suits her/should take her sometime/she could have seen this now”, In office, I miss her ideology, lunch box misses her hands magic feeling and at the end of the day her warm smile, quick logics and silence glow.. what not everything of her is soo in mee.. Need not to say about weekend.. She  got incorporated even she don’t realize hoe much she became part of my life without living together..

What elders need is solid background, caste and the shastra..!! Even she supports the same.. She wants to get married or else age may effect the life of next generation.. Still, I believe in her decision making 😏 I’m obsessed I know.. But , losing her is really killing me everyday.. Sucking my soul with stress, disfiguring myself unknowingly.. It’s not someone else comes in my life.. 

I need only her!! God might be busy with innumerable number of wishes but I really wish to get my wish fulfilled, after all the least we need is the happiness and love in life till death right 😪

What else we want when we see our loved ones holding us in comfort.. (Of course, few bucks without struggling them at any point of time to live though)


Rapid growth

I want to seek that growth in my life.. Time should pass slowly but my achievements and career growth both financially and officially strong at a short time..

I don’t know really how it can happen?

I’m wondering is there any way to earn 40k per month without prior experience and relatable knowledge.. Atlst if there’s any scope, I’d definitely opt that and work my ass of to learn that thing.. After all our only, need to be fulfilled otherwise someone could be like Anushka Sharma in phillauri (wishes unfinished)


What..The first yell anyone can hear from me these days when they brought this.. I am not supposed to get into that.. It makes me sick.. Really a lot.. It’s been like I got into school last year, passed out from college last month and now seeking for a job..

I can accept the age fact and it’s really scary to imagine that I’ll be calling as hubby, some manly status, dad sooner or later.. It kinda freaking me out.. Either I can’t allow my girl for thst even.. We saw nothing, we haven’t experienced anything yet..
Thanks to the society, movies and media whose influence turning this generation mindsets over sex, love and attraction only.. With the help of these we even don’t know what we are capable of, what we learnt, what we want to learn, how we passed our teenage and post teenage.. 

Just imagine for a moment, if someone calls you dad how nervous it’d be when you act like a kid still in your house.. Yes, I do love my girl and want a serious relationship but not kids and definitely not right now unless things tends to do so.. Though it’ll be a miracle if happens.. I have no hope but it’s a pure wish.. My biggest goal and longest dream.. One tging for lifetime.. One life so I don’t want to let her go 🤢

Love failure..

I can see the things going back where it all started.. As the quote in HP ” I open at the close” my love life is saying as ” It all ends where it begins”.. The saddest part is not only I can sense that but I can also see that..

Those sacred chants which I used to listen long back striked today, sooo peculiar I even remembered the name in the list.. 

From the Love failure to City ville..

From my first reading list Screenplay to This is not your story..

From Sand timer to Chocolate basket ..

From Dominos to ..

This is killing.. I even can’t burst out, literally my fingers are shivering.. Though I can remember the events, I ain’t supposed to present anywhere 😓💔 Glad, this is private and no one knows 😖🤢

In the name of.. Unsaid words

When the caste or creed doesn’t remember at the time of any necessity, why should they are so much considerable at the time of rituals and family prestige? 

Why they can’t simply think out of the box and make it the last priority in choosing someone? If the person or his family is soo bad or something else with him then they can take a chance of skipping unless he or she cannot promise to fulfill the loss.. If not what’s the problem with the human being..? Yes, he might not be subjected to perform the rituals as before but when someone is needed so much, who the hell won’t change and if he doesn’t seems to be changing or faithful.. Take the step.. Ball is always in your court only..

Let’s think in their way.. Can they guarantee that their match would be perfect one? Who knows whom? On the basis of stars, reviews from the rubbish talkative neighbours or from the school and office they came from, one can see inside and get what he is upto? C’mon grow up and give a break!!

If someone is injured somewhere, on what priority a help is considered? Caste? Creed? Screw you narrow minded people..  Effing Society – This is all because of the damn rules created and sustaining in a very organised manner.. Do they need only same blood?

If so, why can’t these people stick to the same caste or creed they born in.. Oops! Then no work will be fulfilled right.. I forgot that.. There is a inner worry feeling about their dynasty or family tree.. It is common.. Not treating it in a mean way but does they feed you? Okay consider to keep it clean only.. when? When things aren’t clumpsy and no choice has been around.. 

When you have a choice and the choice is striving hard so much that you can’t see or realise how much that choice is equally struggling to make up the thing that you’ve been made and grew so much as of now what you can be seen..

It’d be greatful and sooo much to them if they got a chance.. Not everyone in the society treats the same, I bet the person you choose even.. #unsaidwords

Life..! 🤢

Sometimes the darker side gives us a ray of light to focus how we are and where we stand.. Unfortunately, for me the darkness doesn’t show me any such kinda thing.. Hope is no more and interest on life goes to not not percent..

Idk how many feel like this but for me when the purpose of life is going wash away and I’ve nothing to do that except scribbling here.. What for my living is meant to be? 

Though I earn, shop, spend and live the life.. Nothing makes me happy anymore.. Nothing fulfills me.. Neither those crazy wishes nor those goals.. 

Suddenly, I feel why should I live? To pass the time until 30’s, take care of parents as they’re growing older, settle down for my existence, ofcourse no marriage idea, eat, shop, live and… And what else!! 

What is life for? I really don’t understand what’s next? Why should I live? Maybe for welcoming the old age? Sole purpose of life ia to born, live and die? Oh yeah!! Carefully destroy the nature in the time being 🤢

Days are passing by and I can’t see any interest of living.. Nothing seems interesting.. Not even richness or the family 😟 

Maybe this is called “losing”.. Yes I lost her 💔 Tbh I lost myself and my life with her.. She doesn’t simply captured my heart but also took away my soul 😖 Love you Tweety.. !!